I'm about to pop LOTS of veins

I'm watching a movie last night on cable with my hubby. We're all snuggled in our bed with the catter cuddling with us.

We usually mute the commercials. But either Tom or I didn't do it once, and I saw the most outrageous commercial I have ever seen. It was for a product called the "Pro-Vac":



This is the best picture I could find of it online.

Now, I am not outraged that men would pay almost $200.00 for a pump to get an erection. Heck, lots of fellas have high blood pressure and diabetes and still want to be able to have sex with their partners (altho' their ads are geared mainly at geriatric, hetero males). Frankly, I feel badly for them. It's a quality of life thing.

Here's the rub though, and the reason I am about to bring on all kinds of hell-fire in this post (frothing a bit now):

MEDICARE AND SOME INSURANCE POLICIES COVER THE COST OF THIS PENIS PUMP.

Still, you may be asking yourself, why is skyewriter so upset by elderly men who want to have marital relations with their wives?

I am pissed. because insurance. will cover a pump. that a man with vascular problems. has to physically pump-o-pump-o-pump away. to get a boner. likely raising blood pressure.

(Or maybe it's part of foreplay--I'm not even going there because I could write an entire blog about scenarios of old men coming from the ensuite bathroom, red faced, with beads of sweat rolling down their cheeks and an erection popping from the front of their striped cotton pjs: "I'M READY, HONEY!" All the while his blue haired Mrs. has fallen asleep in her twin bed: "Huz? Wha?" No foreplay for her, oh no, but HE'S READY!)

Okay I'm done.

Back to my point (get to the point already, skyewriter). [Wiping some froth from the corners of mouth.]

Why is it that insurance will pay for this mechanical garbage but I have to pay (on top of my monthly premiums) for medication to delay ovulation (i.e., the pill)? I am the only one who is pissed off about this?

For years I have been studying the ill-effects of an androcentric culture on women, their bodies, and the mechanisms in place that control those bodies FOR THEM. Medicine is just one way-- in particular, access to pregnancy control methods along with a galaxy of women's health issues dealing with access.

Recall not that long ago the Brou-haha over pharmacists dispensing BC Pills to customers without a doctor's prescription even tho' there were registered nurses to administer health questionnaires, take blood pressure and to have the customer sign a waiver they were 18 years old and that the info they were providing was correct.

Come on; teenagers lie to their doctors all the time. Why does it matter if they are lying to an RN in the back aisle of a Walgreen's amidst the shelves of tampons and adult diapers because they are having sex with their boyfriends and their fundie parents don't believe in BC or pre-marital sex and won't take them to a gyno? Premarital and teen sex are not like the Easter Bunny; believe it or not those things ARE real. Also, many women cannot afford the costs of an office visit, exam and Pap smear that many doctors are required by law to administer prior to prescribing the Pill.

Strangely, we caught part of a History Channel program about medieval toture devices a couple of days ago. One looked frighteningly familiar: it was a long metal sheath, separated into three "petals" that opened with a long screw, expanding whatever fleshy aperture into which it was inserted (let your mind run wild here because I am not going to write it for you--ew). We fondly know it today as the speculum.

There's even been an uproar about teaching women (and therefore creating kits) to do home Pap smears. Wow; a warm speculum and a pap smear on my own time? In the privacy of my own bathroom? All to make sure I don't have diseases or cervical cancer? Women's health bashers said NO WAY, NO HOW.

But hell, yes. If you're a man and have a flaccid penis-- have we got an insurance covered, home care remedy for YOU!