Monday, May 4, 2009

Brrrraaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnns

Oatmeal. That's what I have in my cranium right now.

And not the yummy Quaker Oatmeal Cinnamon Bun variety, either.

Goopy, bland, grayish, blops of guck that I am convinced have been trying to either all cram into my frontal lobe to avoid any concrete thinking or to escape through the orbits of my eyes.

My current list of gripes (not this old one):
Contorted fingers
Spacey eyelashes
Distracted feet
Convoluted tongue
Uhhhhhhhh..... yeah, that one
Cramped ears
Cerebral Left-Hemisphere protests
Wandering bladder (like those water balloons in the commercial)
Mutinous membranes
Annoyed mucosa
Disinterested lung
Reticulated hair follicles
Distended medulla oblongata

~and~

Muppet libido (don't ask; just pity Tom)

At some point in the next few days I have penned in on my schedule to get completely, 100%, loud, embarrassingly hammered.

I am hoping a "hard boot" will restart the system.

I'll try to do a post then. It's been a while, but back in the days when once a week I did have a drink (or ten) I was in the habit of drunk emailing---- my professors.

I have accepted the fact that I am, and always will be, a geek.

Case in point: I've had this Friday's release of the new Star Trek movie on my online calendar ever since they revealed it.

Tom *dragged* me out to see the beefy, oh-so-perfectly-clingy Levis wearing Wolverine last Friday (yummmmmy; in an alternate universe, I don't think I'd kick him out of bed for eating oatmeal).

It's times like these when I am a true Cartesian at heart (or would that be mind?). Both sides of the binary are in full rebellion mode and the only way to stop the revolt and retake control is a full-on G & T blitz.

I'll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime, in all seriousness, I have missed you all and your fun online company.

I promise to get back into blogging shape soon...

Happy Monday all.

12 comments:

pashamin May 4, 2009 at 1:30 PM  

So, in this alternate universe is Hugh Jackman a zombie? Either way, I'd have to agree with you on that one :)

Pasha

Glad to have you back.

James May 4, 2009 at 1:42 PM  

"Muppet libido" I am going to wonder about that one for a while. This was one of your funniest posts yet.

Grandpa Eddie May 4, 2009 at 2:31 PM  

First, Tom has my sympathy. I've dealt with someone else's "Muppet libido" before.

Second, so you drunk email. Before we married, my present wife would drunk dial. One time she got some poor sap from Australia and talked his ear off for about 2 hours. Needless to say, she use to have some hellacious phone bills.

Riot Kitty May 4, 2009 at 4:38 PM  

Muppet libido! I blame my friend for making the joke about Big Bird and Miss Piggy.

ZIRGAR May 4, 2009 at 10:04 PM  

Muppet libido? Is that when you need to sexually animate someone by actually sticking your hand up inside of--oh, forget it. I'll just leave that one alone, now that I think about it...

Seeing Eye Chick May 4, 2009 at 10:49 PM  

Just don't get arrested, I am clean out of bail money, and for Keerist's sake dont get nekkid. Youtube is worse than the flourescent lights in a walmart changing room 2 months before bathing suit season.
:(

Or wear a wig.

Hard Boot, I like that one. LOL.

Shady Lady May 5, 2009 at 12:37 AM  

I ***so*** have to go see Wolverine (and the new Terminator movie while I'm at it). So not the point of your post, but I love action movies!!

Sidhe May 5, 2009 at 7:49 AM  

Ha, muppet libido, that is great! We spent a few hours just the other night watching the Muppet Show, so the thoughts crossing my brain are strangely twisted...

Ahh, Wolverine, I've been a fan for about 19 years now of his hunky good comic page looks, in man-flesh is far, far better! (Talk about a nerd!)

Read ya soon!

skyewriter May 5, 2009 at 12:42 PM  

Man flesh, Sidhe; you sound like an Orc. There's some nerd for ya!

Nerds of a feather nerd together.

Seeing Eye Chick May 5, 2009 at 1:12 PM  

OMG--We are Nerds, though I often refer to it as *Sweaty ManFlesh. mmmmmmmm

HA!

You guys validate me. Now you're really in trouble!

True Blue Texan May 5, 2009 at 11:12 PM  

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nerd. Speaking of nerds and YouTube, you should check out The Vlogbrothers. Hank and John Green started the Nerdfighters, a group dedicated to decreasing world suck during their year long video blog, Brotherhood 2.0. This YouTube/videoblog is their second endeavor. Check it out.

And I'm afraid to ask about the muppet libido. What comes to mind is just scary.

Good luck with your hard reboot. And please avoid incarceration. It would take too long to gather your bail from amongst your far flung admirers.

skyewriter May 5, 2009 at 11:25 PM  

You know what the funniest part is? I was thinking about my libido and how to describe it and my eye caught my Grover puppet that I have had since the 70s.

Immediately I thought *muppet* libido, of course. Not a more rational "blue monster libido" or "bulbous plastic pink nosed libido."

Because I am always the picture of rationality (written while laughing so hard I can barely breathe).

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