Sunday, May 24, 2009

Hitting the Mute Button


Yesterday AM I was looking for a pair of flip-flops to wear to my brother-in-law's house for a cookout. Every open-toed shoe I own has been in hibernation since last September, therefore I had a hard time finding the *ones* I wanted. I'm like that. I lose things often and usually my fruitless searches end just that-- fruitless.

Yesterday AM was different.

I found a bag full of old notebooks and scraps of paper on which I had written snippets of thought and pieces of prose. Just things. Stuff. Words that have come to mind every now and then as I have lived my life.

Meaningless to most, really.

I uncovered a plain, small, black, spiral, three-subject notebook.

As I sat in the closet and skimmed through it for a few moments, I was surprised to meet my past skyewriter, so hopeful, so optimistic, so positive, so strong.

Not that I don't feel that way now. The volume is just turned down a bit. And sometimes, if I am to be completely honest, I hit the mute button on those thoughts.

Optimism hurts sometimes.

I found a short paragraph without a date attached to it so I have no idea when I wrote this. But I guess I find myself thinking about the last 37 years of my life a lot these days. It's always part of my process as I pass through a liminal phase-- which really every day, every moment is a liminal phase, but I don't want to go there today. (See why I hit the mute button?)

So here it is. It *means* to me. Just some scraps of thought scribbled quickly someday, somewhere, someplace years ago.

Those special summer dusks
Riding bikes after dinner and
Catching lightning bugs
When something told me to
Hold onto that moment,
For soon it would be gone.

An unconscious kind of knowing
A child's understanding
That summertime would end.
That those days of climbing trees and
Building forts would go
And stay forever only in my memories.
The time when innocence
Was all I knew.

Happy Sunday all.

Thanks, Cosa for the COSIE. I promise to post on it ASAP :).

10 comments:

pottersfield May 24, 2009 at 12:38 PM  

Loved this skyewriter. Your name is perfect.

Chris May 24, 2009 at 1:02 PM  

What a wonderful way to go back and capture a moment in time.....

LeftLeaningLady May 24, 2009 at 1:23 PM  

Very nice. Too bad most of us don't appreciate that time in our lives, too busy, too much in a hurry. Thank you for reminding us about it.

Sidhe May 24, 2009 at 1:33 PM  

Happy Sunday to you too!

Thanks for sharing.

WV: favers (as in, You're my favers!)

Grandpa Eddie May 24, 2009 at 3:11 PM  

Memories are a wonderful thing. They help us remember where we once were in life, and how far we have come.

Riot Kitty May 24, 2009 at 3:55 PM  

Agreed! Lovely photo too.

pashamin May 24, 2009 at 5:08 PM  

I love your blog. Period.

You are a phenomenal writer and I hope more people are getting exposed to your stuff with this blog.

skyewriter May 24, 2009 at 5:38 PM  

Thank you all.

Just returned from seeing the new Terminator flick... Still digesting it a bit. There was a bit of Matrix-plagiarism in some of the cinematography (particularly in the scenes of machine-land) and in the plot lines. But a must-see in the theater just for the surround sound and screen alone.

James May 25, 2009 at 9:42 AM  

I hear you on the optimism thing. It can be hard to stay positive and hopeful when you see the world and the shape it's it. The community of people that come and respond to your writing gives me a lot of hope. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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