I have developed an aversion to my laptop.
We have a PC in our home office that basically is Tom's computer. He uses it for his work and to play his online video games.
He is getting a laptop this summer, but I am going to warn him about the hazards with which all laptops should be labeled. [A side note, it should be like those tags on mattresses that are illegal to remove.]
WARNING: Persistent exposure to this device for academic purposes may cause the following:
- Spontaneous swearing
- Excessive daydreaming
- Loss of time
- Repeatedly counting cursor blinks before striking a single key
- Inability to think coherently
- Grammatical incompetence
- Bumps on forehead from repeated beating with keyboard
- Memory loss of location of the most important files in your c drive
- Naming files weird things so that they are memorable (yet causes above)
- General imbalance of the humor
- Obsessive blogging disorder
- Pale skin
- Alien hand
- Boogie Fever
It will not be allowed within 50 yards of my fingers nor will it be allowed to taunt me with its non-empty threats of writer's block.
It has become a toxic relationship and I just hope I don't have to shoot it to put myself out of my misery.