Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Road rage, the Amish, and Black Friday doorbusters



I knew a guy named Mike when I lived in Amish country that was a competitive cyclist and rode on country roads to train. One car-less afternoon, an Amish woman in her horse and buggy came up behind him while he was riding. The road was nearing a sharp turn and my friend sped up to avoid the danger of being pushed off the road at the nearly hair pin curve.

As he increased speed, so did the Amish woman.

It was an out-and-out race for the turn while the Amish woman yelled at her horse and flicked her whip over its ears (my friend was convinced he felt the air from the lash a time or two) as my friend peddled as fast as he could, not really believing that an Amish person was angry that he was trying to "beat" her to the bend. Mike won the race and got to the turn first. The Amish woman veered off onto another road a short distance past the curve.

Mike ran into the Amish woman on the same road again some time later, but her husband was driving the buggy that day. Mike let them pass and as they did the Amish man touched the brim of his black hat and Mike swore the wife flipped him off. Even the Amish get road rage.

Six and a half million Midwesterners are going to be driving this holiday weekend.

According to a recently released national survey, when a driver gets the finger, is cut off or tailgated, 50 percent of the victims respond with horn honking, yelling, cutting-off, and obscene gestures of their own. The only victim of my “retaliation” is my husband as I swear like a sailor and he tries to find something relaxing on the radio to distract me. People in cars can be so rude. In person, they would never get in someone’s face in a crowded line (hopefully). Unless it's someone in the “15-items-or-less” express lane with two cart loads.

Hope everyone has a safe and fun holiday week. And remember, if you are in line outside any national retailer at 4AM for the door busters on Friday, let the lady with the white bonnet go ahead of you. Despite appearances, those Amish can be nasty.

4 comments:

Anonymous,  November 25, 2008 at 2:48 PM  

That is funny and too true. I wonder how our American Car culture will change when we are forced to drive tiny electric cars instead of HumVEE tank machines with Anti-Aircraft weapons on the roof?

Will there be any point in calling, "Shotgun!" at that point?

skyewriter November 26, 2008 at 9:30 AM  

I cannot wait for the smaller cleaner burning cars; altho' our Honda does pretty well.

You make me laugh.

Have a great holiday.

Jess

Anonymous,  November 26, 2008 at 10:42 AM  

My In-laws in PA, say that there is an Amish Kid that does a suicide bonzai run on inline skates down their gigantic hill. Now I am a very good skater and I can take a big hill like that, they way one does on skiis, but rumor has it this kid does it straight down, tucked.

Amish are daredevils too apparently!

Those Amish--
Gotta Watch em.

Sidhe November 28, 2008 at 2:58 PM  

I'm staying home today, don't want to encounter any Amish...though even during this holiday we don't see much traffic up here (aside from the occasional horse & buggy). Hope your Thanksgiving was rich and left you full!

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