What I am learning about myself this morning: I am not a good person to have in stressful situation. Especially if there are children around because I swear-- a lot. Luckily, no children are or will be witness to my complete and utter spazzery.
That is all.
PS: Thanks LLL; you are very sweet.
I'm grumpy today. Tired. Bitchy. Did Oscar the Grouch have a sister? Because that's about me, right about now.
I am seriously rethinking my decision to become an academic-- five days prior to defending my dissertation-- possibly the worst piece of tripe ever composed, anywhere, by any being, in the entire history of the whole universe.
There's about 50 gazillion articles and books of which I should have a working knowledge by next Tuesday. Yep, and the likelihood that one of my five committee members is going to ask about the 40, 161,234th is about 1:1. (It's never a good sign when I start trying to use numbers; that and quoting Dante or Melville who might be the second worst writer in the history of everything right behind me.)
Told you I was grouchy.
Another thing that is pissing me right the hell off: our dryer is broken. Yes, I am griping because I have clothes and boxers and socks hanging all over our apartment. And four voicemails since Monday to our landlady (who is usually Jane-on-the-spot) have gone unanswered.
I feel like a turn-of-the-20th-century Irish/German/Polish immigrant in the Bronx. All that's missing are the gaggle of children tugging on my imaginary apron strings (oops, just popped out another one). Not even Monty Python can make me smile today.
I refuse.
Every sperm is not sacred.
In fact, if a sperm gets wasted, it is because the dude it came from had too many Jack and Cokes at the pub down the block.
And I am the one who's irate.
I am so white from being inside, strapped to a computer, that you can almost see every vein, muscle, and tendon beneath my skin. I'm like the Invisible Man without the cool invisible part (and the penis; boy wouldn't that be a shocker for Tom after being together for almost four years?).
I am in such a foul mood that I considered switching political parties just to see if that made me feel better. Actually, that's a lie. I would never even consider it.
See? And now I'm lying because I am grumpy.
I never lie.
Ever.
Except for that one time when my doctor asked me if I had ever experimented with drugs and I said "no".
Altho' technically, that's not a lie. I didn't experiment with cannabis. I smoked it... regularly.
Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis. I am turning 38 in less than two months and I am without a working dryer, I feel like a Staten Island cast off, and I don't want to be an invisible man, well, woman.
Regardless, doors keep opening and closing and I feel like kicking the crap out of all of them.
Especially the one marked: "Winning Powerball numbers for the next drawing."
Unfair. So f*cking unfair...
Update: I just found this post on Media Matters that made my day. In a nutshell, rightwing blogs are irrelevant according to a Brigham Young University study. Can you get more right wing than BYU?
I have developed an aversion to my laptop.
It's true.
We have a PC in our home office that basically is Tom's computer. He uses it for his work and to play his online video games.
He is getting a laptop this summer, but I am going to warn him about the hazards with which all laptops should be labeled. [A side note, it should be like those tags on mattresses that are illegal to remove.]
WARNING: Persistent exposure to this device for academic purposes may cause the following:
According to the Government Printing Office, an overview of the first budget proposed by President Barack Obama is set to be released today at 11 AM. Politico reports the document is 134 pages long.
Here's a link to the page where the GPO announced the title of the budget:
"A New Era of Responsibility: Renewing America's Promise"
For PDF links to the current budget, click here.
As I mentioned in my line-by-line posts on ARRA titles from a couple of weeks ago, the economic stimulus bill appeared to resemble closely a "typical" federal budget. In other words, it looked like gap coverage for budget shortfalls for the rest of this fiscal year, which ends on September 30, 2009, in addition to spending for public works projects.
As soon as the overview of the budget is released I will begin looking at it when I have time as I am drafting the final chapter of my dissertation.
In the meanwhile, why not check it out yourself?
We're in for a bumpy ride in the coming weeks in terms of bipartisan peek-a-boo.
I promise to do my very best to keep those politicians honest about what's in the budget in order to *correct* any *misinformation* the congressional party of "no" might try to promulgate.
**Update (2/26/09 3PM) Here's a link to the overview as posted on the GPO.
I came across this quiz online.
Here's the link.
My results:
You are a Peace Patroller, also known as an anti-war liberal or neo-hippie. You believe in putting an end to American imperial conquest, stopping wars that have already been lost, and supporting our troops by bringing them home.
Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com
So, first, I am in a very goofy mood. Cannot. stop. seeing. the. words. ass. and. prick. in. the. strangest. of. places. Hurry with the jacket that has sleeves facing the back.
Also, am not sophisticated enough to figure out how to black out the name and phone number of the company on this truck. I can barely figure out how to take pictures with our new camera and then transfer them to the computer. I know you are all responsible folks and won't crank, spam and generally harass these nice stucco people.
Tom was driving, I was riding shot-gun and Mom was in the back seat. Luckily for us all I had the foresight to bring a handbag and remembered the camera. Now I get to share that at which we all laughed our tushes off (still cannot end this without a preposition--I am in writing paranoia frenzy over here, dudes in the white coats):
In no way does this mean I condone defacing private property, but boy that is pretty funny.
Hope all had great T-Days. I'm busy hauling out the X-mas decor, baking (oh, what a wicked mess I am making), and trying to get ready for my meeting with my chair this week. Also, have a phone interview for a Visiting Assistant Professor appointment sometime between Tuesday and Thursday. Do you think it's more than a coincidence that the word "ass" is in that job title? Just leave off the professor part.
God, I cannot wait to get this stupid dissertation finished so I can go be an "Ass".
Christmas decor pictures coming soon. . .
I've been trying to work on the chapter three revision of my dissertation (just sent it a few moments ago to my Chair and am rewarding self by blogging).
Ugh. Cannot wait to get my degree next May.
M&H (see blog above) had a great post today about life and the choices we make. Obviously, our country made a great choice last Tuesday (gosh, has it not even been a WEEK?!?!? The hell? How am I ever going to survive until January 20, 2009? It might as well be 2109).
But now I think it's about the other choices-- staying on the asses of our politicians to make sure they do the jobs we hired them for, getting our armed services out of harms way and leave those countries with whom we are at war with a stable structure of government (that THEY choose). Giving support to our troops once they return-- financial support for their health and their educations. We need to let gay people get married; it's a right, not a privilege allowed only the chosen. We NEED TO STOP GIVING MONEY TO GREEDY, POORLY RUN COMPANIES LIKE AIG! Do you realize they just got another $40,000,000,000!!!???? The f**k? Here's that number again:
$40,000,000,000.00
This to the company that spent over $2,000,000 in ONE WEEKEND to reward it's CEOs and executives with massages, and pedicures and HAIR CUTS!
Larry David had a great line on the huff post a last week; waiting for election day to get here was like waiting for biopsy results. Gads, how true.
Right now reminds of the time just after I finished six months of chemo and my scans were all clear. Waiting for my hair to grow back in and get caught up on some rest.
How fast does hair grow? I think it's about a half an inch per month or something. That means if you let your hair grow, once it reaches your shoulders it's two years old.
The stock market may still be in the toilet, the housing crisis will still be with us, gas and everything else will cost too much. But one thing for sure is: except for chemo folks and men who are balding (I love you!)- we'll all be a bit harrier by the time January 20th rolls around. I know I will be; I can't afford a haircut. *
* and you bald fellas will have little extra money in your pockets.
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