Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy 2009

I'll bet I have THE MOST original blog post title today-- I'll just bet.

So here's my top ten of 2008:

1. Getting married to the best man I have ever known. Who lets me love him as much as I want to and who loves me despite the fact that I am riddled with flaws.

2. Our amazing honeymoon. *sigh* I wish I were in Isla Mujeres right NOW.

3. Having a campus visit for a job next year.

4. Emma recovering from a scary bout of CRF and staying with us.

5. Getting to see lots of friends and family.

6. The health of my parents (Dad: 80; Mom: 77). Both are doing great.

7. Getting two teaching awards for the writing classes I teach.

8. Tom quit smoking! (4 and a half months and counting). I'm so proud of him.

9. Winning a $100 in the lottery; hey, a $100 is a $100 dollars.

10. Making great strides on my dissertation despite my growing addiction to blogging and the blog world.

May we all laugh a lot next year. May your troubles be few. May you be surrounded by those that cheer you and support you. May we all find hope that our world may turn away from violence and choose peace.

A bit of a giggle to end the year with. The cat never seems to move and freezes in the same position every time. Be sure your volume is turned up-- it's not the same without the music.

Happy New Year!
((((( )))))


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I've been tagged (thanks, D)

So here's how it works according to my tagger Political Morsels and Other Droppings:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six random things about myself:

1. I have an obsession with my cat's tummy.

2. I have an irrational and paralyzing fear of clowns.

3. I used to model in runway shows in the Chicago area when I was 12-13 years old (hated it).

4. I have three screenplays and lots of novel chapters on storage discs, etc., that I may never share with another person.

5. Instead of being a writer (starving artist) I went for the safe route (Ph.D. in English).

6. I laugh A LOT when people cough/sneeze/laugh and fart at the same time.

My six tags:

A Time for Change
Musings of a Wandering Elf
Feet off the Table
JRen Photography
Swells Inspirational Nutrition
Hot-For-Jesus Former Fundie

Have fun!


Can't. find. words.

The only thing I can say about this is: I love Photoshop.

This is going to make me laugh whenever I think about the look on Bush and Cheney's faces. Abramoff looks pretty determined to get those bills in Dubyas thong (eeeeewwwwwww!). Love the black socks, too.



Monday, December 29, 2008

2008: 3D Review

So, the top ten list of 2008 is still in the works-- too many to whittle down. Composing that list has gotten me in a reflective and forward looking state of mind all at once. The picture to the right sort of sums it up. It's a combination of Green Man and Janus. (I looked and looked for the original artist, but could not find it on the interwebs. The signature below the middle beard is an enigma to me. But, hey, it's from 1996.)

Green Man --across many cultures, Irish to Islamic-- is interpreted as a figure of rebirth, even renaissance. The Green Man here is of the Foliate Head variety; fruitful thought and growth in mind. Janus, typically a Roman God of beginnings and endings, is more closely aligned with the Etruscan civilization-- a pre-Roman symbol of gateways.

The combination of these two symbols externalize my internal workings at present. The two main things about this figure that speak the strongest to me are the aspects of growth and movement.

This year has been a wild ride, both publicly and privately. It seems as if I have lived in a liminal state, always hovering between three worlds-- the one I am leaving, the one I am in, and the one I seek. The thought that I might always feel this way is both terrifying and comforting.

I think my life this year has been one of perpetual motion. I have always felt time was a friend even though I feel it washing over me, swifter and swifter with each passing year. At least I know I am not standing still but have a sense of stillness that I maintain when I stay focused on the bounty the present moment is always offering.

I am grateful for 2008; it has been a year filled with growing pains and achievements. Of laughter, friends, and family. Of hope and change.

I look forward to 2009.

May it be a year that reinforces (or rekindles) our belief in each other.

May it be a year that strengthens our belief in ourselves.

May it be a year which fortifies our own power to make the world we leave better, confirms our commitment to make the world we live in kinder, and cements our determination to make the world we hope to create more peaceful.

The list-- it may end up a top 20. Isn't that awesome?


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Silent night

Happy, Happy, Merry, Merry.

We're off to visit the families. The top ten of 2008 are coming after we return.

My very best to all

Message for December 24-- be safe, hug your loved ones [and don't be the first one to let go], and give a moment of thanks for all your blessings.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

8 Days and counting

Eight days; that's all that's left of 2008. Can you believe it?

It's been a very wonderful and insane year. I've been working on a list of the top ten moments of this year, but feel like the kid in this picture:

So much has happened, it's hard to pick just ten. We were married in May; went on a gorgeous honeymoon in June. Summer was spent working very hard on dissertation and conference work.

We feel very blessed this year.

I was out of town for the past several days. I had a campus visit yesterday. Think of it like a day-long job interview. I even gave a 20 minute presentation on my approach to teaching writing and then fielded questions for another 25 minutes. It was fun. Really. Seriously. I mean it.

I hope I get the job-- I am one of two people they brought to campus. The other person had her/his visit today. I like to think I was a tough act to follow. Sometime I'll bore you with the gorey details about how I overheard the Dean and Assistant Vice-Chancellor (both at my presentation) say that my presentation was "incredible" and "very good". Perhaps they had low expectations and I simply blew them away by my ability to string together whole sentences and keep a cohesive theme throughout.

Blah, blah, blah.

I don't have much to write-- still working on the cross-stitch-- at a feverish pace now. I will see mom on Saturday and hope to be done. It'll take an X-Mas miracle.

We are beginning the annual trek Thursday morning and won't be back until Sunday.

I've missed you all-- I'll write again soon.

Hope everyone has a safe and blessed week and here's a virtual hug from the skyewriter (((( ))))



Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Santa Claus is coming to town

So, as many of you know, there's been a bit of a flare up online about the so-called "War on Christmas". Don't they know it's called X-Mas now? ('X' being a variable that is inclusive of all beliefs and peoples? For example: Buddhamas, or Allahmas).

Since the right lost this political cycle, they are acting like rabid, cornered, wounded animals-- claws out and it's their way or the highway.

Bullies, that's all they are. Uncurious, small-minded bullies.

Anyway, when Santa visits their homes on Christmas Eve I hope this is what they get:

I wish people would get a sense of humor!

Life's too short to be so angry.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

You know it's X-Mas when folks start having parties

If we were having an X-Mas party the planning list might look something like this:

  • Arrange living room furniture for conversation groups
  • Set up chairs in office for a second conversation room
  • Throw piles of clean laundry into closet to hide from guests
  • Throw piles of dirty laundry into bags (into same closet, if room)
  • Put bills, unopened junk mail, catalogs into plastic bag (into same closet, if room)
  • Clean: fridge, bathroom, kitchen countertops
  • Bathroom: place hundreds of toiletries piled on vanity into plastic bag and hide in linen closet
  • Iron linens and wash wine and champagne glasses
  • Hide porn, lube, and sex aids (okay, that one's a joke, I swear, Dad)
  • Grocery shop (a separate list)
  • Emma's boxes
  • Replace tea light candles in holders (about 25 of them total)
  • Hang clean hanging clothes in either walk-in or narrow closet (if room after everything else in there).
  • Find new spot for bags of dirty clothes (maybe trunk of car?)
  • Fluff pillows on bed for guest to put coats

I won't bore you with the grocery list, but I can tell you, it wouldn't look like this one (from

All I want to know is: what the hell are nose pills, what kind of party is this, and why am I not invited?

Hope you all had a great Tuesday.

Message for Wednesday: smile at strangers. It will make you feel good.


Be sure the speakers are on. . .

Too much procrastinating online this afternoon. Picked some fights on right-wing blogs. Man, those suckers are nasty. And unreasonable. And thick-headed. And have NO sense of humor.

Anyway, this made me laugh; I'm signing off for the day. GWB only has a few dance moves--he would never win if he ever got served.

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at

Hope all had great Tuesdays and thanks to all who stopped by. Feel free to comment or just say hi. Don't be shy.


It's a scale thing again

Just like my post about a week ago on the size of our little Blue Marble in Space compared to other heavenly bodies, here's a bit more perspective.

Humans are now even smaller than a jellyfish.
Check it out:

It's unreal:

See the original post about the jellies here.

Despite the fact I am in awe right now, it's going to give me nightmares tonight. Definitely.


Monday, December 15, 2008

Update: Obama's Citizenship question PUT TO REST

I am not going to say I told you so, but here it is:

The SCOTUS kicked out the lawsuit, the electoral college has voted, and it's locked down!

He's your president, too, yahoos, whether you like it or not. As for me I LOVE IT!

Take that, beeeyatches!


You live long enough, you might meet yourself. . .

So I'm going to share something pretty personal today (no, it's not my full name [you can call me Jess], or home address, or phone number), because I have a strange feeling in my heart. Also, covering that is an immense sense of gratitude.

I've had some pretty dark days in my life-- we all have. But I want to share a tale of one of mine (it has a happy ending, I promise). A lot of it stems from the fact that I have a notion of how peaceful the world should be and how people should treat each other with respect and love. Needless to say some of the time reality does not meet my expectations.

I remember a particularly rough spot when I had cancer and was about mid-way through my six months of treatment. Cancer patients HATE it when you tell them how "brave" they are. If I had a choice at the time, I would have opted out. But that experience did give me two very important gifts.

First, there are not many who can say "I know that my life meant something to others". When I was sick, I heard from old teachers, former principals, long-lost friends, extended family members, even total strangers--friends of friends or people who saw my name on a prayer list at my mom's church. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't have a card or a message on my answering machine from someone letting me know they were praying for me, that they loved me, or that they just wished me well.

Second, on one particularly rough Saturday (my treatments were on Fridays for five hours and then Saturdays were spent in whatever horrible way you wish to imagine), I got to feeling pretty sorry for myself. "Why me"? I cried to my mom (who was there at my bedside 90% of the time). She could only hold my hand and watch me cry.

After she went to bed I remember staring at the ceiling in the dark, thinking, "I cannot do this, please let me die".

Now I'm not going to say I heard a voice, because I didn't; but I did have a thought. I "spoke" to my future self and asked: "Please, Jess of the future, help me to get where you are now". It gave me a sense of relief and hope I cannot explain.

Fast forward to about six months ago when I was driving to Indy to visit a dear friend. I had some quiet music on, music that I listen to during the times when I feel blue.

I was thinking about that night when I asked "whatever" to let me die. It occurred to me that I, the Jess driving the car, I was the Jess I had reached out to.

You cannot imagine how powerful a thing it is even still to think that I comforted myself that night in the dark. But, think about this as a possibility for any life-- reach out to your best, possible future self (Einstein's theory that every possible outcome that can happen, does, whether in the universe we experience, or in parallel ones).

That future self is waiting there, calling back to you now, urging you forward in your life to a time when you do meet yourself even if for a moment. All it takes is to listen and trust yourself that you will get wherever it is you need to go.

Today my message is: try to have an attitude of gratitude.

Thanks to all who visit here. May you have the best possible Monday.

Adieu, with a bit of a giggle:


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Wow! whoa!

I just had to share this:


I wonder if this is one of the million reasons for the shoe-throwing?

Why is our economy in the toilet? Because our lame duck has two modes: Crawford Ranch and Lying about Iraq.


Obama Citizenship: 10 reasons the RWFN are wrong-- AGAIN

RWFN= Right Wing F*ck Nuts

According to news sources, the United States Supreme Court conference, held Friday, December 12 determined only 2 of the conferred upon cases were certified; neither of them pertained to Obama's citizenship.

10 valid and research/reality backed points about this:

1. The case was NEVER on the docket as many uninformed conspiracy theorists have been proclaiming. It was under conference to determine whether to CERTIFY it for docket assignment. It was not certified.

2. If the case (or cases) had been certified, don't you think Fox News would have been all over it and some of the so-called "liberal" media outlets (i.e., every outlet aside from FN) would have at least mentioned it? Some folks are going so far as to say that a hearing is still a possibility because "they haven't seen the list of rejected cases, yet." *tearing my hair out, screaming at retards online and in the news, and generally going crazy over the idiocy of some people*

3. The Electoral College meets tomorrow to cast votes for the president-elect, for whom over 62% of the country voted. Get over it. He's our president. He will be inaugurated next month. (God, it cannot get here soon enough.)

4. The voices of division are as Anti-American as I have ever heard. And most of them are
conservative or Republican.

5. Although they are far within their rights to file law suits, don't the RWFN realize that they are trying to undermine the authorities of the individual states who certified Obama for the ballot? I thought they were for weaker central government and more authority in individual states? Now they are running, crying to the SCOTUS. (um how do you spell h-y-p-o-c-r-t-i-t-e-s?) Why didn't they do this when states were putting their ballots together? Primary season ended in June: election held on November 4. According to my math, that's FIVE WHOLE months to bring these frivolous suits to the courts.

6. The kooks that brought the majority of these suits are also 9/11 conspiracy theorists and many support or maintain anti-muslim propoganda or internet blogs.

7. Staunch conservatives have been conditioned to think that if they are bullies, they get what they want. In fact, we are in two wars right now because of it. Our economy is in the shitter because of it.

[Previous 8. (Under further review) Obama's birth certificate has been certified in lower courts; that's why the cases were thrown out, in addition to a "lack of merit" of the law suits.]

8. If this document is forged, a U.S. senator and his presidential campaign have perpetrated a vast, long-term fraud. They have done it with conspiring officials at the Hawaii Department of Health, the Cook County (Ill.) Bureau of Vital Statistics, the Illinois Secretary of State’s office, the Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission of the Supreme Court of Illinois and many other government agencies. Not to mention having fooled Columbia University, Harvard University, the Harvard Law Review and the University of Chicago Law School.

9. Many folks who are the most pissed are ones who are either racist, fundamentalist Christian, and/or just uneducated.

10. Contradictions, conspiracy, retards, and sore loseriness. That's all this is a case of.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Stank, Stink, and Taint

How funny is this?

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at

God I love news montages.

Isn't taint the equivalent of t'aint your junk? Please refer to definition #1. It appears this is stinky taint, regardless of what Blagojevich is trying to say about it.

Okay, that crossed my line of decency, but this guy is a dirt bag.


Friday, December 12, 2008

The Emma Files

So, I promise I'm not going to turn into one of those bloggers who has lots of cats and writes only about her/his cat(s). And I certainly won't take pictures of all the towels, slip covers, quilts, and kitchen magnets we have and post them here for all to see (maybe).* But I did want to give an update for those who followed the drama a month ago when Emma seemed she was not long for this world. In case you're wondering who the H Emma is, she's our 15+ year-old Tonkinese (see curled up ball o' love there down to the left or wait for the hundred or so pix in this post-- just kidding [maybe]). Someone threw her away 13 years ago; I got her from a shelter and she's been one of the most loyal, entertaining, and funny friends a person could ask for.

Here she is last July standing up for a treat: we called her Stevie Wonder when she did this because her head swayed back and forth while waiting for us to fish another treat from the bag:

Yes, that's a cat standing on its hind legs for a treat. (I know she's not the first one in the history of internet cat blogging, but int she such a schwootzy? I won't blame you if you never return to this blog after today.)

And notice the dark diamond on the tummy as Tom holds the treat for the Stevie?

We can no longer feed the Stevie treats because of Stevie's kidneys and the decline of their ability to process protein.

The latest news is still not ideal.

Her blood-work is improved but she's not out of the woods and we are continuing the daily sub-cutaneous injections. Tom had the genius idea to warm the saline bag before we hooked her up. This for a cat who has a heating pad which remains turned on 24/7 atop an old chair in our bedroom (sorry earth-minded folks--our cat needs her woobie--again, won't blame you if you never come back ever).

In light of this, she LOVES the warm saline injections and to have a 6 pound 12 ounce cat lay still for 70ccs of fluid every day is no small feat. The fluid drips through the line and pressure builds as a small pouch of saline collects on her back; the pouch creeps slowly down her side moments after the injection.

She's doing better and has started a new routine; as soon as I take the needle out she tears into the living room, (like a four legged Quasimodo running for the bell) pounces on the couch and commences to groom herself ---furiously.

She starts with the tummy (again with the black diamond: she has the cutest furry belly. As you can see, I'm, frankly, obsessed with her tummy because it was only within the last five years she would let me actually pet it):

Next, the back feet, between the toes:

And last a "get-that-camera-away-from-me-beatch; can't-you-see-I'm-grooming-here?" glare:

I wasn't kidding in the caption up there on the left; she's the love of our lives. The vet said she may have six months where she does okay, a year at the outside.

As my dear friend Juanita put it, it gives us a little more time to love her and spoil her and say goodbye when the time comes. I just hope it's the longest goodbye ever. . . **

* This is a joke; we only have kitchen magnets. And kitchen towels. And an ornament for the tree.
** I will not subject you to future posts about Emma (or Stevie) unless she does something way cute and I feel like I'm going to burst. Or if she shows off her tummy in a really squishable way.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

A little perspective

If you missed my earlier post today here it is; it pairs nicely with this one, like a good Cabernet with a steak (I need to eat lunch).

When I read people who are small-minded and small-thinking, I am reminded of our place in the grand scheme of things. (And I'm not just talking Earth here, folks.)

Not sure where these came from; I got them from a friend over a year ago, so apologies for not being able to give credit where credit is due (thanks to my little Mexican Jumping Bean for sending them to me).

Here's some perspective at this very special time of year. You may need to click to enlarge them in order to read the labels on the pictures.

Earth's size in relation to solar system planets in our size range:

Earth's size in relation to all the others in our solar system (the Earth fits into the famous "Red Spot" on Jupiter, first named in 1878; yup, it's been around a while):

The Sun's size in relation to its orbiting planets:

The size of our own Sun in comparison to the some recognizable visible stars in our universe:

These scale demonstrations never fail to awe me. We are a small part of a much larger universe. Good thing we're in it together, huh?

Make every minute count.

Love everyone you love as hard as you can.

Laugh with a heart free from fear.



My message today is simple: stop the hate.

Sad thing is, people are generally good and those that hate cannot and will not ever allow themselves to live outside the bubble of fear within which they have cocooned themselves. And they want to ensnare us all in that web of foreboding and gloom.

I am exhausted with all the haters and their hating. Those who are so righteous need to quit worrying about others' salvation and focus on their own ruinous ways.

Telling someone they are a bad person and are going to hell doesn't make you a good person, or a candidate for the rapture.

It just makes you an ass hole.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Well, they can try to get rid of the sore part; the loser part might be there to stay.

To all repugs out there (you know, those especially nasty conservatives--not all) who voted for Bush twice (or even once), here's some great pics of your lamest duck ever:*

This guy was leader of the free world for the past 8 years. No wonder our country is in the shape it is.

There's a fella afraid of a tennis ball (yet he's playing cricket, did they give him a "special" ball?).

"Yup, over and out." I don't know what's worse: the A-ok sign or the "hrmmph" face. Either way we won't have to see his goofy mug much longer.


Barack Obama had nothing to do with that IL GOV 'tard. Here's an excerpt from the transcripts released yesterday:

"On Nov. 10, Blagojevich griped the President-elect - "this motherf----r" - wasn't giving him a cabinet post, yet still expected the governor to appoint Obama's choice for senator. "F--k him. For nothing? F--k him." Obama's advisers were "not willing to give me anything except appreciation," Blagojevich complained the next day to an aide. "F--k them." (BBC News).

Does that sound like Obama was in cahoots with this ass hat? Any literate, critically thinking person should say: Hell no.

God, I cannot wait until January 21 when all the nay-sayers will finally have to shut their pie-holes and eat it!

People are trying to sell the vacant IL senate seat on eBay. I love this country.

* Courtesy of the Daily News


15 days

Well, we're closing in on two weeks before X-Mas. Our plans have been settled and shopping is still not finished. But we're going to shop Gordmans this year; very cool stuff, very inexpensive. I got four gifts for four very different women in my family for 14 bucks. 14 BUCKS! 4 presents!

Anywho, since I am starting to get that X-Mas giddy on, I thought I'd share some pictures of the ornaments my mother has given me over the years. She's a Hallmark fanatic. One year when I was putting up the tree a roommate said she couldn't believe how many of those ornaments I had and then informed me they were valuable. I was stunned. Really, painted, cast plastic, mass-produced, Hallmark ornaments are valuable? Who knew?

My first Hallmark collection is the Frosty Friends series (Eskimo and polar animal). I have all but the first one. This one's from 1983 (25 years ago, blows my mind). The baby harp seal is even covered in a velvety coat:

My all-time favorites are ones I have from the tree my mom put up when I was little. This is one of a handful I still have:

I also have the Lighthouse series, since I lived in Montauk, NY for a few years after undergrad. The Montauk Lighthouse was authorized under George Washington in 1792; it is beautiful and I was in a lighthouse phase for a while. Now, they just hang on the tree at X-Mas. This is the 2008 edition:

Another Hallmark series my mom got for me when I was in my tween years was Mother Goose. I have always been a bookworm and a writer, so they are fitting (and very sweet):

I remember my mom saying Christmas was for children; that it took her back to her childhood and holidays spent with her brother and sister, mother and father. It is a time of memories and family and traditions.

It's so true.

I'll be saying it many more times in the next two weeks (amidst my rants) but I hope all are enjoying the season in whatever way they see fit.



Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It's called RESEARCH, retard.

Please read the disclaimer below*

I am confronted daily with comments from folks (not here on THIS blog, of course) who are so painfully uninformed that I seriously wonder about their literacy and have a deep indentation in the middle of my forehead from slamming it against my laptop keyboard. Some people are not just stupid (intellectually and socially) but they are frickin lazy!

I cannot tolerate intellectual laziness. CANNOT. CANNOT. CANNOT.

First let me say:
Wikipedia is not a credible source. ANYONE can go there and edit the entries (that's why it's called a "wiki"). The webmasters cannot possibly keep up with the input of new information; it is not monitored by experts. Please, please, please, do not Wiki for your research.

Having an opinion about politics is NOT the same as having an INFORMED opinion about politics. "I think he's/she's great" is not an opinion-- it's a PREFERENCE. BIG difference. It's like saying you like sour cream on a baked potato. Not everyone does, but you PREFER to have it with than without. No argument there.

An informed opinion is where the speaker takes an ACTIVE role in gathering facts and information for THEMSELVES from various reliable sources and THEN presents a case for their position in a logical, tasteful, well-constructed manner (for those interested in true Rhetoric, [and no, it's not a four letter word as most would have you think] google the Five Canons or Aristotelian Rhetoric. One of my Ph.D. areas is in Rhetoric and I would consider myself better informed on argument than a few people I have read lately).

Research requires critical thinking skills. No, just because you read it somewhere does not make something a fact. Heck, the Bible's got lots of "facts". Serpents talk, some guy lived in the belly of a whale for three days, people turn into salt for looking at a city; you get my drift, right? Thinking is the key concept here; not believing. I know, for a fact, that there is a moon in space which orbits our planet. I have not had first hand experience being on it, touching, seeing it up close. But indeed, lots of educated people who study it for a living have published lots of stuff in well-respected places that convince me that that thing I see in the night sky is indeed a moon and without it, life on earth as we know it would likely not exist.

Some of the smartest people I know are also the kindest. Wonder why that is? Well, people who don't know much, who want a president or Vice-president they could "have a beer with" are intellectually retarded, yes, RETARDED. I don't want some monkey with the IQ of 75 running our country's affairs. I want an educated, well-read, well-thought person to be our president (gee, didn't we just elect one?).

I am sick to death of anti-intellectualism in our culture. As a smart kid, I was kind of ashamed that I did really well in school. Even today, I rarely talk to people outside academia about my dissertation project or the official title of my Ph.D. (the aforementioned is only part of it). I have dedicated the better part of 8 years to getting a Master's degree and completing my doctoral degree. I've earned the right to say (without hesitation: "YOU'RE WRONG, but here's why"). I don't get personal, I don't get nasty (usually) but I will not stand for retards who refuse to research their opinions.

Back 'em up; then we can debate.

*This post is not an attack on people with functional mental disability or otherwise. I am merely talking about functional, run-of-the-mill idiots, who have internet access and sh*t for brains.


Monday, December 8, 2008

Dear Santa

I know I'm not exactly on the good list this year, but I want to make an argument why I shouldn't be on the naughty list. Hopefully after reading this you will have a clearer decision about which to put me on.

Okay, so those terrible things I said about Sarah Palin (you know, your co-worker since the North Pole is so close to her Alaska state thingy. Watch out for that one, she might think she's qualified to do your job). I meant every word, but in a constructive way. I'm a teacher and can't stand uncurious, intellectually lazy people. Please give her a brain, like the wizard did for the Scarecrow.

Now, about mean trolls on internet blogs. I can't help but give them reading material so that they have facts instead of fantasy to support their arguments. Maybe give them all almanacs so at the very minimum they can look up stuff that's a bit more reliable than Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limberger.

The 58,000,000 Americans who voted for McLame/Saling (as in selling). Please give them back a shred of their dignity and help them see that people who voted for the guy who won ARE NOT their enemies. Maybe give them copies of Obama's _The Audacity of Hope_? Might be a good way for them to get to know a little bit about our soon-to-be commander in chief.

About the thunderous blast of gas I let fly in that big box store. I know I tried to pawn it off on the old lady perusing the tomato sauces with me. I'm sorry for that, but I knew I could get away from it quicker than she could. . .

I'm sorry for the parking spot incident on July 15. It was hot and I had been trolling around for ten minutes and I SAW THE SPOT FIRST, DAMMIT!

About that jar of apple sauce I dropped in the grocery store in April. I looked for someone to give me a mop. Surely you saw me look up and down the aisle before slinking away and getting in line at the registers as quickly as I could? See.
I tried. . .

I know this is an old one, but it might explain my naughty status for several years now. Yes, I DID IT! It was me that stole and xeroxed the chemistry final sophomore year in HS. I didn't sell it to the thirty people I shared it with, though. That should count for something and I've NEVER done anything like it since. . .

And last but not least, my short-comings in terms of writing my dissertation, I have been very consistent in writing my blog. Please give all my readers a million dollars each to thank them for the traffic on my blog.

To those that post comments, two million.

So as you're making your final checks, think of me wearing these:

I promise to try to do better next year.
Have a safe flight; I'll leave out the cookies (and some egg nog, too) in case you might pop by.



Sunday, December 7, 2008

Yes, it's still 12/7/08 and I am posting again

Because this is what I meant to share this AM:

I found the image of this shopping list post-it at It's a website where people submit scraps of paper they find randomly that they have scanned into digital format. Some are wickedly funny; some are sad; some are just downright strange. See example to the right there. What kind of store is this person going to? Hair and Meat at the same place? God, that makes me laugh.

I was a bit foggy this AM. My husband and I had an actual date last night. We met up with some friends at a bar down the street where four bands were playing. It was fun, I had one too many drinks (just one too many; two too many and I would've fallen home instead of walked and probably tried to side-back-kick Tom on his tookus. I get like that. Once I tried it, he caught my foot and I nearly hit the ground. With his cat-like reflexes he managed to catch one of my hands and gently lower me to the sidewalk. I've never tried it again.).

We don't drink much these days (except for decorating purposes) so I am quite a lightweight. Two G and Ts and I was nearly on my tookus.

Hope all are still having (or start to have) great Sundays.


Call me shallow

We don't have enough snow here for sledding, or snow ball fights, or snow-people making. The snow here is mostly brown-grey street mush piled near sidewalks and road-sides.

I like snowmen. Don't care too much for Frosty of 1969; not sure, he always seemed kind of, how can I say this, wimpy? I know some of you are going to think I am a purely evil Grinch, but come on. "Happy Birthday" are your first words when it's supposed to be about X-Mas? I wondered about his IQ mostly, even as a kid.

Also, I guess it has always bothered me that his goal is to get back to Santa (read: The dude in the white beard/God). Stay away from the light, Frosty, you might melt. I guess I totally missed the point.

Here's the original two minute, 43 second Frosty Cartoon from the 1950s; none of the other crap from the 30 minute show. Just a cool cat in a magical hat playing with kids, laughing and existing as a goofy, happy being. No attempt at a deep message; just fun.

I have a small collection of snowmen I put out during the winter:

Here's the latest from my mom this year:

And then I found this and couldn't resist. I mean, how do they reproduce when there's no people around?

Happy Sunday, all.


Saturday, December 6, 2008

Warning: this post has words and a tale of caution

You know we live in a scary world when we need a sign telling us to be scared of a sign.

There is some very fine print at the bottom; as far as I can read it says: "Also, the bridge is out ahead".

I think it speaks a lot to human behavior; a lot of stupid human behavior. I imagine people driving to this area, parking a car in front of the sign, obeying the "no driving your car here" sign but stupidly disregarding the "no people" sign, a decision they soon regret.

One cloudy afternoon, not unlike the one in the picture, a couple approach the sign in a glossy, chromed-out Yellow Hummer. A man gets out from the driver's side, a woman from the passenger's. As she steps away from the ostentatious behemoth, a brisk gust lifts the plaid shawl she has draped loosely around her shoulders and she instinctively draws it closer. They stroll toward the water (but really it's a waste pond) there in the distance, as the man holds her left hand in his right. She lazily stokes the sign with her right hand and "OW!" gets a huge metal cut when the sign's edge digs deep into her palm. As she tries to staunch the flow of blood with her Burberry shawl she hears a yelp and looks around.

"Jeff?" she asks hesitantly.

"JEFF!" a little more insistently, panic in her voice.

The man has mysteriously vanished. Police are called, her wound bandaged and the search for Jeff is unable to proceed as the land behind the sign is pocked like swiss cheese with sink holes and quick sand from the toxic waste illegally dumped there.

Twenty years ago so many people got curious about the dilapidated bridge "they" posted a sign to prevent people from breaking limbs by walking on the rotten wood. When sink-holes developed and large patches of quicksand appeared, another sign was placed. Still, stupid people ignored the sign and many more came to an awful end. In desperation to help prevent the needless deaths of hundreds of morons each year, "they" again posted a sign warning about the sign, hoping this at last would be enough to keep ignoramuses at bay.

Alas, we all now know how this tale ends. The woman with the ruined Burberry shawl hires an attorney and files a law suit.

At the trial, the judge dismisses the case on the grounds of "stupidity" and adds: "I can't believe you tried to get 'them' to pay for the dry cleaning of your shawl. And WHY on earth are you still driving a Hummer?"

The dejected woman drives away from the court house. On her way the low fuel light comes on (for the fourth time that week) and lucky for her she notices a Mobile gas station ahead on Main Street where gas is only $6.50 a gallon. She's decides to do some shopping to ease her mind after the dismissal of her law suit and to cushion the blow of losing Jeff to a sink hole or quick sand-- she will never know.

She then sees a sign:

"That's a good deal on shit," she thinks, suddenly feeling better, making a right turn from the left lane without signaling or looking for cars beside her.

Over the honks and the shouts, a sense of calm is restored to the woman. She returns home later that day excitedly emptying her plastic bags. As she tries to decide where to put her purchases she looks at the expiration date below the "Made in China" sticker on her shit, only to discover that the shit has expired.

Yes, we live in a world fraught with peril. Death lurks at every corner and an unending supply of needless outsource-produced shit is at our finger-tips waiting for the hapless and intelligence-challenged. Natural selection and evolution do their parts. It's up to the morons to finish the job.

This ends today's tale with words and a warning this holiday season: Beware of signs that say don't touch them and always check that the shit you buy made in China hasn't already expired.

Happy Saturday to all.


Friday, December 5, 2008

Bah Humbug, Beg 3. Only coal for you in your stockings.

Bah Humbug.

I say that because I am so confused and angry about the Big 3.

I posted on this a few weeks ago, but it is still an on-going issue and the CEOs and UAW leaders go way beyond the naughty list to the "consciously unrepentant" list.

The "Beg" 3 automakers continue their attempt to get government support for their terrible business models and even crappier vehicle models. What irks me is that GM HAD an electric car (they subsequently crushed all of them) in the 1990s. Now we are expected to shell out billions of dollars to union stooges who, while lining their own pockets, are in DC with hands out, palms up, waiting for congress to write them an enormous check?

Don't misunderstand me. I feel horribly for the families this will affect. Please read these highlighted comments. They are a fearful glimpse of what might happen to real people in real places if the American Auto Empire falls. I do not blame the workers, but blame the company and the union leaders; make them culpable. Don't make us foot the bill when folks like us are struggling to get to the first of the month and drooling for student loan money that is coming in January.

This year I am giving home-made gifts to family. We cannot afford to shop, our cat got sick and the vet bills have taken over what we had in savings. But we can still afford to visit loved ones, which is priceless, and X-Mas isn't about stuff anyway-- we get it. Besides, who would want to deal with all the crazies at the stores:

I say let them file for bankruptcy protection (let the BANKS bail them out using some of that 700 billion they already got from us). Restructuring will clean house and prevent them from coming back in a month asking for more. The current bailout of 34 billion is just a start-- it's grown 9 billion over the last two weeks even with the selling of their corporate jet fleet and token driving to DC in their hybrid cars (*hmph*). Some experts say 90 billion is needed to get them out of the hole. You know me and big numbers:


None of us will ever see that many zeros in a ten thousand lifetimes. Neither should the Beg 3.

Thanks, Aliceson, for your input and sharing that blog. Everyone should see the human side to this.

PS: Today's Daily Confucius below is so synchronous with this post: He who will not economize will have to agonize. Let the Big 3 take this to heart.

"American Triplets" Mike Lane, Baltimore Maryland
Christmas shoppers, Eric Allie, Chicago


Thursday, December 4, 2008

Jack Black/Jesus, A Hummingbird, and a Sourpuss

So there's a hysterical short film from Will Farrell (one of the co-producers), some other Saturday Night Live alums, and lots of other comedians about the Prop 8 vote in CA last month.

Check it out:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Also, I am giving self a small pat on the back for completing the hummingbird (not with feather back-stitch, yet) on Mom's X-Mas present (she refuses net access so no worries the surprise will be spoiled):

I couldn't get the beak right, but I think it's fine.

Here's Emma's reaction to the bird:

zzzzz. . . hmmmm, whaaaa. . . you're bringing me catnip?

Oh, that thing again. . . *yawn*

I could care less, really. . .

Not. Kidding. Don't care. . .

Seriously, dude, get outta my face and let me get back to napping.

Hope all are doing well this December 4.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Warning: I am schizo today and all over the place

Do you ever feel like if you talk about something you want sooooo badly, you're gonna jinx yourself?

Well, I'm going to briefly mention that my phone interview yesterday with the university at which I am seeking an appointment next fall went Faaaab-u-lous (wish there was someway to convey it in a sing-songy way).

I read something recently on Creative Endeavors that made me cry (I am having some mood swings, stick with me). A young woman in Somalia was stoned to death for seeking help from officials after she was raped. Here's the blog post.

Why is the world so effing crazy?

I hope that the next four years will bring the plight of women affected by any form of extremism to a more central place on the global stage. It's not a happy thing to think about, but nothing will ever change for those in other places not lucky enough to be born here if we don't try to do something about it. Here's a good place to start. We are the change we seek in the world!

And I will leave you (hopefully) with a bit of a giggle.

Thanks for visiting. Off to work on that cross-stitch.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Store Bought , Homemade or a Little of Both? And a tree on a table

Where does time go?

I recently finished the stocking for my husband. Here it is (click on any image to enlarge, but you knew that, right?):

And some of the detail:

I know, I know, it's a kit, but I have never sewn before and I think it turned out okay.

Also, took some more pix of decor ('cause I know you are sooooo interested).

Kitchen Tree:

Latest favorite ornament (picture does not do it justice):

Baking is going okay. I need to learn how to use my rolling pin. I am making cookies the old fashioned way totally from scratch. I even used yeast for the first time in my life. If I get a nice looking nut roll today I'll take a picture and post it. I know, I know, riveting stuff, huh?

I am also working on a counted cross-stick for my mom's X-Mas gift. It is unbelievably hard--blank black linen, four quadrants, butterflies, dragon fly, hummingbird, and finch all surrounded by floral scroll work, 45 different colors of thread. Hope I can get it done in time. We'll see.

Hope all are safe and dry on this December 2nd.

PS: Thanks, Aliceson, for the cocktail recipes. Cannot wait to try them.


  © Blogger templates ProBlogger Template by 2008

Back to TOP