Elephants, rats, and the merits of gargling

For almost ten years the conservative voices on the "right" in the US have mostly been in harmony. The last several months have turned their harmonious chorus of "small government," "tax cuts for the wealthiest 1%," and "let's go to war" into a cacophony of "holy sh*t," and "I'm conservative, but not THAT kind of conservative (re: Palin)" and "what the H do we do now?" All one needs to do is look at the number of high-profile Republicans who abandoned the sinking Palin- McCain, um, I mean McCain-Palin ship. Chris Buckley resigned from his own FATHER'S publication the National Review over his endorsement of Barack Obama. Just yesterday, David Frum wrote about our president elect using his middle name (as if we should fear him because his middle name is "Hussein;" get over it). A few weeks ago he got his ass handed to him by my newest hero, Rachel Maddow; (see if you can count the number of times he blinks). He's also resigning from NR. What is wrong with these people?

As the Elephants scramble to pick up the peanuts, the left leaning side of our country is finally clearing its collective throat. It's just in the nick of time. I am convinced that the increase in blogging activity and message boards on the web has expanded the extent to which Americans will go in attempts at establishing a dialogue. There are some particularly stupid people who have access to the web and in flexing their 1st Amendment rights are spewing the most ignorant crap (see this moron; like Palin, go 'way now). However, I have been finding more and more blogs by people who are rallying the troops, educating themselves on the issues, and are finding a way to stay connected to others with like minds in this hectic, economically terrifying time.

I know we won't ever completely be rid of the lowest of the low in terms of uneducated racists and bigots, but we sure can try to raise our own voices, talk to people we know, meet and greet new people ("Hiya; welcome to post-Bush 43 America. Would you like a side of social consciousness and Democracy with that?"), and do our best to keep the morons penned (pun intended) in the circus tents where they belong.

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Ten things I don't miss about the election

1. Joe the Plumber. I was so sick of hearing that phrase, and seeing that mook, and yelling at the TV every time McCain blamed Obama for his celebrity. Then people started showing up at rallies with t-shirts reading "[insert name] the [insert job/profession]." McCain was reading them back to a crowd of middle schoolers who had been bussed in for a rally in Ohio and came across one that read "Tom the Undertaker." He stopped reading them after that one.

2. Calls from the Obama campaign. Yes, you read that right. I volunteered time and donated money (what we could afford), but still I got upwards of 6 (SIX!) phone calls per day asking me to volunteer time or donate money. I have no land line and use only my cell. So every time I answered I was paying for the call. I know, I'm nit-picky, but we are graduate students living on ONE stipend (read that word as less than poverty level income).

3. Hearing the same stump speech by John McCain over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over (get my drift?).

4. Seeing the terrifying wife of John McCain. We couldn't decide if she looked like the wife of the crypt keeper or his sister. Either way, I am sure she is a lovely (?) person, but those dead creepy eyes and monotone voice ("bbbrrraaiiinnnss") scared the bejesus out of me. You can put lipstick on a zombie, but it's still a zombie.

5. Sean Hannity. Let's get something straight; I do not watch Fox news except for an occasional chuckle. But that in-bred's face got on the channels I watched ALL THE TIME because of the war between the media outlets. Which brings me to . . .

6. The constant bickering of the media outlets about who was in the "tank" for Obama. What does that mean, exactly? I got visions that they were herding all Obama supporters into some gigantic tank like the ones at Sea World, and there we would all wait, cramped and clammy, for the keepers to bring us our chum. I got really nervous when the Republicans started endorsing Obama because that meant they'd be in that tank with us. Oh, the horror of being crammed in beside that snooty Christopher Buckley, Douglas Kmiec, or Scott McClellan. THE HORROR!

7. Calls from the Obama campaign. I know I already listed that one, but it was really annoying.

8. Waiting for election day. God, I thought that day would never come. Now I feel that way about Inauguration Day (see my recent post titled "Waiting for Inauguration Day is like watching hair grow").

9. The repetition of the daily news (oh, wait, still . . .). Something mildly interesting or scandalous would happen and the media would latch onto it like it was the last morsel of food on Earth. It was the same story over, and over, and over (you get the idea). $150,000 in clothes-- need I say more?

10. Nancy Pfotenhauer (pronounced "bitch", I mean, "fo-ten-hour"). Liar; condescending woman who has the biggest stick up her bum. Go 'way now, Nancy.

Feel free to leave your thoughts on what you don't miss. I'd love to read what you have to write, too. I finally got the comment function fixed; thanks to all who let me know they tried to leave comments for the last few days and couldn't.

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